Saturday, January 31, 2009

My Worst Day

My leaving from home was the most upset moment I kept in my mind since I was child.It was pretty November morning with adunny sky and open air.At first,when I woke up,everything was OK.Even I was so joyful because I would go to Eskişehir .I would be free and have no my family and relations.I thought that was a wonderful thing.I still recall it well.Even as a young ,the memory is so uncovered in my mind.When I prepared everything,my family and relations were so anxiety for my leaving .I was so joyful for my going because I was fed up with my hometown.

As long as I went out , my family began to cry.That moment I noticed something changed.Deep sensations surrounded me.I felt so exhausted but in my heart left so little happiness.Then we arrived at the station where is full large,luxurious and comfortable buses.When my bus came, all joy in my heart ended.I was completely worried.The instant I got on my bus , all ropes broke out.my family were crying out.The moment ı saw them while crying ,I burst into tears.Then I perceived what happened.I didn't want to go to Eskişehir.Anymore,I left alone.

I finally dozed off to sleep.When I awoke, my bus came to Eskişehir.I was aware of everything and there would be the only Betül.Then I understood my family are valuable and the most priceless existence in the world for me.

Written by: Betül Atalay

2 comments:

  1. Hi betül.Your writng is generally good but there are also some mistakes like everybody.You wrote leave from home but from is unnecessary.Since I was child is wrong because your writing is about 4 months before not since your childhood.Open air is wrong.You wrote have no my family I think it should be have no family.Even as a young is wrong.Anxiety is noun you must use the adjective form.I couldn't understand these sentences 'deep sensations surrounded' 'I felt exhausted but in my heart left so little happiness'You wrote 'my family were crying out'but I think out is unnecessary.Finally,I think 'doze off to sleep'is wrong.I think you should change them so your writing can be well.SEE YOU... (BURCU ÇAVDAR)

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  2. ok thanks baby .ı will edit my writing

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