The 1999 Earthquake was the most dreadful event I kept in my mind since my childhood.17 August night,we wanted to go out since the air was very sweltering.As we were wandering,we saw a terrifying sight.The sky was scarlet like sunset.In the sky,there were some lights as if they had been stars.Some dogs were barking bleakly.
At 03:05,there was a horrifying roar.everywhere was white as light as a day time.Our building was shaking as if it had sprung to air and fallen on place. While the earthquake occured.the electricity cut off.The earthquake continued 45 minute but we felt as if it took many minutes.
After earthquake.everything changed and occured as usual.Everybody in our quarter wennt out with dread.Everywhere was so full that nowhere was empty.There were lots of people like doomsday.All people tried to phone their relatives but that wasn't easy.That day influenced me so much that I couldn't forget.
Written by: Burcu Çavdar
Hi Burcu ! I have checked your wirting.Generally The organization of your writing is well.It consists three paragraph.
ReplyDelete1)you should use a preposition before 17 August night.
2)you should use another preposition instead of 'ın' the sky
3)you should use occurred insetad of 'ocured'
4)When you use 'Everywhere was full, you don't have to use 'Nowhere was empty'
5) I think that is wrong 'like doomsday'
6)I think the last sentence should be used in this wise 'That day that I couldn't forget influenced me so much'